From Guy Sports
What does a dentist’s award look like? We don’t have a picture, but apparently it’s a big plaque with a little cavity.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Dwayne is recovering from surgery in St Peter’s, Chertsey, UK, having had a local anaesthetic when a nurse asks him how he’s feeling. ‘I’m O.K. but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery.’
‘What did he say?’ asks the nurse.
The pain that drives you to extraction.
Visit to the Dentist:
The Marshes were shown into the dentist’s surgery, where Mr Marsh makes it absolutely clear that he is in a big hurry.
‘No expensive extras, Doctor’, Marsh demands, ‘No gas or needles or any of that fancy stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.’
‘I wish more of my patients were as strong minded and as brave as you, Mr Marsh, ‘said the dentist admiringly. ‘Now, which tooth is it?’
Mr Marsh turns to his wife and says:
‘Show him your tooth, honey.’
Dental Treatment Hits Right Note
A patient sits in the dental chair with severely fractured front teeth. After discussing with the orthodontist how they will be restored and what the fee would be the patient says, ‘Before you start, I gotta know: Will I be able to play the clarinet when you are finished?’
The dentist replies ‘Sure you will!’
The patient replies ‘Great, I couldn’t play a note before!’
Fast – or Slow? Recession Painkiller
Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth extracted?
Patient: $300 for just a few minutes work, that expensive.
Dentist: O.K. I’ll pull it out slowly if you prefer.
Another Batch of Good Dentist Jokes
A Good Dentist?
When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the ‘Painless’ dentist. However a local little girl called Gemima disputed his claim.
‘He’s a fake!’ Gemima told her friends. ‘He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him – and he screamed like anyone else.’
He Made a Good Impression!
Joe Simpson goes to his dentist for a new set of choppers
The dentist said to his assistant, ‘Please get an impression from Mr Brown’
Mr Brown replied ‘Just like that’.
(A slow burning joke sent in by a Tommy Cooper fan)
Martin Goes to the Dentist
Martin and his wife Debbie walk into a dentist’s office. Martin says to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry I have three buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! Today is Friday and we have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:15 already… “.
The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have a tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.” So the dentist asks Martin, “Which tooth is it sir?”
Martin turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth and show him dear…….”
Biting Off More Than You Can Chew?
In my busy dental surgery, I see several patients at the same time. As soon as I finish with one, I run to the next room to resume treatment on another. One day, I returned to a second patient without saying good-by to the first. As my first patient was leaving, she gave a friendly wave. Acknowledging her, I said loudly, ‘Byyy…’ My other patient obediently chomped down and bit my fingers.
From ‘All In a Day’s Work’ by Stiew Tan.
Read the original here.